"I am my own primary health care provider"

Note: This blog is the only one I'll likely do that is an older piece of writing. It feels like an act of transparency to share this; you've probably caught wind of my underlying attitudes here, but today I'm going to spell them out.

Every once in a while, it's nice to back up, look for a broader perspective and, frankly, not be so obsessed with lyme. And since I've shared this a few times with groups on facebook in response to someone's line of thought, it seemed like a good thing to include here at some point.

When I was looking for a doctor, I sent this to the woman I ultimately picked and said, "Do you think you can work with someone with this kind of an attitude?"

Her response was, "We have found that patients such as yourself who take responsibility for their health do the best." That sentence sealed it for me that she was my doctor.

I believe that lyme backs us into the self-responsibility corner. Most medical practitioners still don't take lyme seriously and so we have had to learn to be the main managers of our health. Even though I wrote this two years ago (and might frame it somewhat differently if I wrote it fresh today) it still resonates for me that this is who I--and a lot of lyme-ridden friends--are becoming.

So here it is. I've called this the DIY Healthcare Manifesto, and that's probably as good as any title. 

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June 29, 2010

Drummond Island, MI

“I am my own primary health care provider.” That’s the thought that started it.

I wrote the DIY health care manifesto one afternoon while my husband and I were “vacationing” on Drummond Island in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I say “vacationing” because he was working on his book and I was spending two weeks away from the intensity of home in a concentrated healing retreat. 

I had been diagnosed the year before with fibromyalgia (update from 2012: which I now know was actually lyme) and was in the throes of figuring out just what the hell my body needed.

The manifesto came out pretty spontaneously. I was contemplating healing and the profoundly personal nature of it, thinking about what I’d learned as well as those basic healing principles that seemed to have been with me for a long time, but were now being put more intensely into action. And the crux of it was that I had been seeing myself, ever increasingly, as the primary arbiter of my health decisions.

I grew up in a family of doctors and other scientists, and by the time I hit my teen years, was a hypochondriac. I’d never had anything bad happen health-wise, and yet I put a lot of thought and energy into it. By the time I manifested fibro, it felt in part like my body finally reacting to years of being excessively worried and strained over phantoms. 

My personal contact with “experts” had been both a blessing and the breeding ground for my own slow downward slide into illness. I had literally made myself sick, and at least part of the cause was believing all the horror stories about what could go wrong, and not taking enough personal responsibility for my health demons. (Update from 2012: I still think there is some truth in this perspective, but now I’d frame it as my hypochondria being a contributing factor to my relapse.)

So I started writing, and when I was about halfway through, realized I was on to something that needed to be said and shared. The bottom line of the manifesto is that we are the bottom line. 

The call to action is for each of us to see ourselves as expert enough, rational enough, intuitive enough and responsible enough to take the lead on our own state of being.

Welcome to the manifesto.

The DIY Primary Health Care Provider Manifesto

·      No one knows my body better than me; no outside health care expert can know as much as my family about each other’s health. We talk about our bodies in open, caring terms in our home.

·      Primary health care providers monitor our bodies, advise when it is time to intervene and offer general health advice. In a time of broad access to information of all sorts, an increased sense of empowerment of individuals, combined with a greater sense of community, we can do much of this for ourselves and in consultation with our communities.

·      Modern, western medicine is great at emergency intervention, and I use those services for myself and my family with joy and gratitude. Further, I take advantage of sensible diagnostic tools, and get support in interpreting them, when it feels like that will serve my and my family’s health.

·      As a primary health provider for myself, I stay in touch with my body, learn what I can from those around me and take responsibility for getting outside help when it is needed. 

·      I take responsibility for any mistakes I make and don’t pretend that mistakes can’t or won’t happen, whether I or someone else is my own primary health care provider. 

·      I give myself credit for being a major player in my times of health, and don’t downplay my own wisdom to suit the comfort of others.

·      I commit to not putting my head in the sand when I need help, consultation or intervention. I learn enough about bodies to have a pretty good sense of when that is.

·      I have a personal philosophy on health care. While this may change through time, I use its current iteration to evaluate new information when it comes out and to consciously guide my health care decisions.

·      I commit to learning more about health care and putting as much of what I know into practice as I can. This may include things like learning EMT skills, growing and making my own medicines, or simply being a savvy and active consumer of health care products.

·      I see health as one key piece of sustainability and localization efforts; ideally, every neighborhood would have a medicinal herb garden, midwife, bone-setter, etc. who would provide the cornerstone of support to DIY primary health care providers.

·      Health care is not just physical; as part of being my own primary health care provider, I attend to my social, emotional and spiritual needs.

·      I honor those who have dedicated their lives to true healing—whatever their particular background—and see them as mentors, companions and resource people for my personal journey with health. When I seek professional support, I seek to find people who can view themselves through this lens as well.

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Thank you, my Familymie, for being those companions that get it. I'm deeply grateful for being able to share this journey with you.